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The official backstory of Valdemar

  • Jun. 5th, 2009 at 1:17 PM
No dogs
Valdemar was born in a litter of six under a bench. When his eyes opened a few weeks later he learned to run around and talk and wave sticks at things. Then he got on a ferry and invaded France.

He cut the heads off 1000 enemy soldiers and held his broadsword up to the light and shouted "For our totally cool flag that is fluttering in a convenient dramatic breeze!" and the enemy surrendered but they'd only do it to him in person and they gave him loads of jewels. Then 1000 pretty women ran out and tried to get his armour off.

After that he also conquered Mars and Normandy. He met Felix in the middle of a safari and they got attacked by 2000 crocodiles and they linked hands and made them all EXPLODE. They found out that Felix was looking for a roomie and Valdemar was looking for a place in town and they moved in together and fought crime the Flag's enemies.

Felix is a bit of a boring sidekick though. Valdymort should've got a dog. Or a mink.

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Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
[info]zenicurean wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:14 pm (UTC)
A shaggy dog story, of course, is classically considered a type of yarn.

Yarn!
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[info]basaltine wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:15 pm (UTC)
That is a completely awesome idea he should have a Weft!!!
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[info]zenicurean wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:17 pm (UTC)
Everything is better with added Weft.
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[info]basaltine wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
Armour Armour
Alle wollen nur dich tragen
Armour Armour am ende
Gefangen zwischen deine Stricknadeln!
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[info]weft wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:25 pm (UTC)
WTF are you on about.
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[info]zenicurean wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:27 pm (UTC)
See? Instantly superior.
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[info]basaltine wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
Instantly about 1000 times more passive aggressive and whiny, anyway...
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[info]zenicurean wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:38 pm (UTC)
Weft is flexible, and can be appreciated both ironically and unironically.
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[info]basaltine wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
Theres an UNironic way?
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[info]zenicurean wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
Certainly! Everyone likes kitties!
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[info]weft wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 02:59 pm (UTC)
I AM NOT A KITTY
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[info]zenicurean wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 03:04 pm (UTC)
"I'm a Weftycat, and I slash slash slash and I slash slash slash!"
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[info]weft wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 03:08 pm (UTC)
Baselesss lies from the liberal atheisst agenda.

And if you don't want a literal bleeding heart to match your metaphorical one...
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[info]zenicurean wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
I bet you'd have to sharpen your claws on a sofa chair first.
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[info]basaltine wrote:
Jun. 5th, 2009 03:26 pm (UTC)
BTW I found a vid of Weft and the boss. You can tell it's the boss - only he would use Cedric Winter as an alias.
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( 15 comments — Leave a comment )